Everyday bath times

I was giving Eli a bath tonight, Dylan was still at work, and we were just playing and playing, he was talking and sucking water (and a little pee) out of his washcloth as usual, and I remembered one of the first thoughts I had in our bathroom when we had just bought our house. I was taking a bath (one of my favorite things) and I thought to myself, this tub will be where we give our first baby a bath! Now, this may seem a little presumptive, I knew, perhaps more then most, that getting pregnant is no guarantee, but it had been one of my dreams for so long that I just couldn't believe that it wouldn't come true. I have these moments every once in awhile, when I look at Eli and remember that yearning to have a baby. I vaguely remember the days before him, when I could sleep when I wanted, run out for food when I wanted, even get my housework done when I wanted... But I can't look at him and wish for those times again, he has quickly become integrated into every inch of my life in the best way possible. I hope that as he grows up I can continue to remember how much I wished for this little boy and continue to enjoy everyday bath times and everything else.