Friday, July 9, 2010

Top 10 Ways You Know You Are "BP"

What is "BP"? That is known as big pregnant, and here are some ways you know you've gotten there.....

10. You have begun to despise rolling over in bed. Most don't take notice of it, usually not even waking up. Not only do you wake up, you work up a sweat while repositioning and get your heart rate into the 150s.

9. You have also begun to hate going to the bathroom. It takes quadruple the time to readjust your clothing as it did to pee that teaspoon, and you know you'll be back in less than 10 minutes anyway.

8. People have begun to give you the "look" when you tell them you have 6 more weeks. A combination of sympathy and sheer awe at your size already, the "look" is a common response when someone hears your due date.

7. You have adopted the pregnancy waddle. You swore you never would, and if you catch your reflection in a window you try to stop, but darnit, the belly makes it hard to walk like a normal person!

6. The veins/stretch marks on you body have grown a mind of their own. Remember when you first noticed that little mark on your belly in a dressing room and convinced yourself it was a mark from your pants? It wasn't. There's really no question now.

5. You are down to 3 pairs of capris and maybe 7 T-shirts that fit you. Also, that T-shirt from your first pregnancy that made you laugh because it was so tent-like and you never wore it is now one of your favorite shirts.

4. Similarly, you have worn the same black flip-flops every day for the last month and see no reason to change that. Who says brown capris and black flip-flops don't match?

3. You must get on all fours to remove yourself from the bathtub because you do not have the use of a large crane in your bathroom. Your toddler will caution "Be careful mommy" because the task looks so ungainly and dangerous.

2. You have adopted a very US Open-like grunt when getting up from couches, chairs, the bed, out of cars, etc. Again, as much as you swore you'd never do it, it really does give you that umph you need to move....must be why those tennis players use it too.

And finally, the #1 reason you know you are "BP"....

Your husband has finally noticed that you are growing a ginormous child within your body. Wow, you must be getting big for him to get clued in to that!

But seriously, not many complaints from this "BP" lady here- Henry is growing well (more than well if you believe the recent sono we had...) and I am still counting on a good 6 weeks to get packed, moved, unpacked, etc. And to all my MN readers- we are MORE than ready to see you all in a week!!!!!

3 comments:

Jen said...

Us Minnesotans are so excited to see you too! And we'll let you moan and groan all you want on vacation...with 9 little ones running around...we're used to noises!

Roz said...

I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. You just made me feel as though I was pregnant again...Thinking of you. Hang in there..pregnancy can be down-right cruel sometimes. The best thing you can do is laugh right along with it. Can't wait to bring you things like cold drinks, chocolate shakes and ice creams. I think I'll even put a little bell in my suitcase and bring it with me for you to use. You deserve it girl!

Jen said...

VERY funny, Annie. I cracked up at all of them, but shook my head kind of sadly at the one about the tent shirt you wear all the time now. Because of course you remember the light blue jeans....right? Not good. I've certainly been there my friend. We can NOT wait to see you and your cute belly! (: